::on my way back to where I started::

Early this morning I dreamt my dad lived in Chicago and was roommates with Bruce Springsteen. It all felt chaotic and anxious and I couldn't get back to Seattle 'in time'. I knew my grandma was there and yet not...
When I woke up I checked my email and my dad had written saying that my grandma/his mom had past very recently, and my uncle Bob is en route back to Chatam,Virginia to spread her ashes.
Nana and I were never that close and I felt like we never knew one another She always tried to dress me up and discourage my tomboy ways.... I recall her talking about my wedding day that is still yet to come and how when I was 4, her astonished disapproval of me saying "when I get married I will wear jeans" (I still pretty much stand by that)
I haven't seen Nana in 10 years now, not since we spent Xmas 1999 in Thoreau. New Mexico when it became very clear she experiencing the onset of Alzheimer's...